Ok, I usually don't get all thoughtful on this blog, but I've been doing some thinking and thought I would post it here. Maybe its all the emotional moments that go along with having a new baby or maybe its the holiday season, but regardless of the reason I just thought I'd share some thoughts this morning.
I know right now the economy is in a rough place, and many people are suffering due to unemployment, or just simply struggling to pay the bills. It is very easy to get wrapped up in the "not so good" details of life, that we miss out on how God is really working in the details of our lives, even when we feel all alone or like we have no place to go. Here are some examples I've had in my life in the last couple of weeks:
For starters, my 3 adorable children. I will never understand how someone can hold a tiny little baby and still NOT believe in God and all He does for us. I know that I am definitely not capable of creating such a perfect baby, it was all in His hands. I learn this each and every day as I watch all 3 of them grow up. The girls have simply amazed me when it comes Jeremiah, and well just simply life on a daily basis. When they hear Jeremiah cry...they drop whatever they're doing (they'll even stop watching Elmo for him) and if he's in the room they will run to him and try to help. I have found them reading books to him, singing to him, kissing him, putting in his paci, pushing the swing or trying to rock his chair, or simply just talking to him saying "Stop crying baby Mia" (what they lovingly call him). If he's not in the room and they can't get to him, then they come running to me yelling "mommy mommy baby crying" and make sure I go help him. When I see them stopping everything to help their little brother, it shows me that God is working in them. I know in my short 2 years that I have had to be their mother, there is no way I could have taught them such great love and compassion for another person, and yet its there...deep inside of them. I see it in how they love their brother...and in how they love each other...and in how they love Mommy and Daddy. You should just see them when Daddy comes home from work....they will run around the house yelling "daddy home daddy home" and banging on the window to get his attention as he walks to the front door.....something that I know touches Daddy's heart after a long day of stressful work.....God using the girls to touch Daddy. The simple details of our day...God is in them.
Another example...is just simply the people God puts in our lives and how they seem to know just the right moment to touch our lives. A couple of weeks ago, I was feeling a little down. I was looking at this huge stack of cards/gifts that was sent to us after the girls were born and then this tiny stack cards/gifts we recieved for Jeremiah. I remember wondering how I was going to explain to Jeremiah that so many people were excited for the birth of the girls and sent cards, but that I didn't have the same for him. (Thankfully he's male and will probably never think about this like I do). Then, later that day....we recieved a package in the mail from the McCracken Family with a gift to welcome Jeremiah to the world. The next day a couple from our new church stopped by to drop off a basket of goodies to welcome Jeremiah to the world. And not just a thrown together basket, but very personalized with Jeremiah's name and birth information all over the details of the basket. How special it was to me to recieve both of these gifts (and in the moment I needed them most) and to be able to tell Jeremiah one day about the people who were excited to meet him.....God working in the details of our lives.
A similar situation happened about 2 weeks before Jeremiah was born and I was thinking too much about how it seemed like people were just not as excited for Jeremiah as they were the girls...and not 15 minutes later Cherokee called just to check in and see how things were going and to tell me that she was excited to meet Jeremiah and couldn't wait for him to make his appearance in the world....and then the effort that her and David made to come down and visit just a few days after he was born. Even though they couldn't hold him and love on him (stupid special care nursery rules), they were here to talk to him and pray for him....and maybe more importantly they were there for me and John on a day when we really needed them. It was not an easy day being discharged from the hospital, but having to leave our little man there. But, having friends there to spend time with and to talk to through the day surely made it easier...again God working in the detials of our lives.
Then this past weekend, Kimberly and I went out to walmart to grab a few groceries. When I got home John asked me if I had seen anyone that I knew while I was there and I responded with something along the lines of "who would I have seen, I don't know anyone that lives around here". Then later that same day Kathryn and I had to run to target to return a few things, and I was talking to John on my cell phone while I was there and suddenly I had to hang up because I ran into someone from church who stopped me to ask how I was feeling and how Jeremiah was doing.....God working in the details of our lives.
So, I was laying in bed last night thinking about these things. First of all, ashamed at how selfish I had been....sad about people not recognizing Jeremiah's birth....sad about Jeremiah being in the hospital for so long.....sad about feeling like I knew no one around here. What difference does any of that really make? So he was in the special care nursery...at least he was here and alive and he was only there for a week before we were able to bring him home, it could have been a lot worse. And the other stuff doesn't matter because, well what does matter is the beautiful family I have been blessed with and that we are right where God wants us to be.
So, then I started thinking about the people that God has used to bless me recently, how He has used them to be "in the details" of my life. Not only the people I have mentioned above, or the family that has come down to visit/help and celebrate Jeremiah's birth...but the other people...the nurse at the pediatrician's office who takes the time to ask not only about all my children, but how I'm doing....the pediatrician who always makes time to talk to me and John when we're in his office and makes us realize that he's not just in his job to make money but because he cares about my children and their wellbeing....the cashier at the grocery store who sees my girls and tells me how beautiful they are and how blessed I am to have them....my "internet" friends who I will probalby never meet in person, but are there to lend an ear when I need to vent, or offer advice when I'm feeling lost.....or my closest friends that I may not see very often, but are always there and can pick up on my moods and what I need or how I'm feeling in just a few short words (or sometimes lack of words) and are always there to keep me on track.....my husband and how he gives all that he is out of love for me and our children....but most importantly God...and how he is in ALL the details.
So, then I got to thinking about how God could be using ME in the details of other people's lives, if I could stop being so wrapped up in my own life. Every day I think about people that I want to send an email too, or give them a call and most of the time I don't ever get around to it. I wonder how many of them needed something that I could have offered if I had just taken the time to follow through on my thoughts. Maybe God was trying to use me, but I wasn't willing to listen. My personal goal is to be more attentive to this and try to let God use me in the details.
So...my challenge to you is 2 fold. 1....Take the time to see God in the details. Don't get so wrapped up in buying gifts this holiday season, or focusing on how you can't buy because of finances, or how you haven't made many (if any) friends where you're living now, oranything else that might be dragging you down right now. Take some time to just sit back and marvel at how God has been in the details of your life, even when you didn't realize it. and 2. Pay attention to what God might be asking you to do to be a part of HIS details for someone else. Take the time to send an email to that person on your mind, or tell someone how much you love them. You might be just what they need today, in fact you probably are!
Kathr
